She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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