I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
