when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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