she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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