there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
