I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
