I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish you could order shots online.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize