I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
