I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
