I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize