whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
As shirtless as possible
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
