Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
