If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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