Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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