I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
