just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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