either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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