I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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