Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dicks are not precious.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
