Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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