First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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