Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
