it hurts more in the daytime
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
