Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
