I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
