If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
