i was born a porn star she said
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
