grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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