HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
