R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
