Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
