I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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