Me too!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
