Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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