What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
