First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
