where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
