Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
