My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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