hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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