Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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