I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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