My friends, they love my intelligence
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
