So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
