So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ugly people sure do ruin things
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
