What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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