Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
