This girl is more easily done than said...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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