I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
