that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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