First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Watching her eat just hurts me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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