i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
