I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
