Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
