He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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