these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
