i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i am craving dick and cupcakes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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